Three little words.
'Are you there?'
That's all it took. I had been on this website for years now. An invisible lurker, the worst of the worst kind. Everyone knows who they are: There are the haters, at least they were upfront with their hating-ness, and then the over the top people-or in other words the pimps and hoes, and then lastly, the lurkers. A breed of human that seem to just like to fade away into the background, always there but never saying anything...
Looking at those three little words, I panicked. It really was just too nerve-racking to say, 'hey, this is me!', I had read everyone's posts, had a look at a few profiles, and occasionally imagined answering some of the questions written there. Sigh. Then out of nowhere...I logged in.
I didn't mean for it to happen. I just got curious, and wanted to say a few things on someones thread. But the next thing I know, I'm typing out a short bio for the whole freak'n world to see! Yikes. I think at this point in time my heart jumped up into my facial cavities and then back down out my ass...What a loser.
It's not like anyone knows me?
Oh man, that's it. It's all over. My mother is going to somehow, magically find this on the internet. Then I'm going to be grounded for life.
Well, actually I don't live at home anymore. So what, if she finds it?
After talking to myself I thought. Okay, there's no turning back now...
Nothing happened for a while. Which was to be expected. It's not like I knew anyone online anyway. Until something did happen...
An IM popped up into my screen, startling me from my nervousness,
Hi. How are you?
How do you answer a question that seems so normal, but in your head you read it as 'Hi I know who you are and now I have found you! Mwah-ha-ha!!' (That is an evil laugh by the way.)
Instead my fingers seemed to type by themselves,
Hi. I'm great. How are you?
And that's how it started...
That night we spent hours messaging each other. It seemed like we had a lot in common. More than a lot. Which kind of freaked me out, as I didn't totally believe in soul mates or fate. But it seemed like the cards had been dealt and maybe I was going to be a winner for once.
Several things entered my mind two months into our online friendship, or whatever you would call it?
Firstly, I remembered I lived on the other side of the world from him. That one wasn't too hard to get my head around, as it made me feel safer if things were to go horribly wrong.
Secondly, that I didn't actually know him. For all I knew he could be a she, who was 69, fat and scary-looking.
That was the creepy thing about putting yourself out there on the web. But paranoia aside, I felt like I really was falling for him...or her...whichever one it was.
After a while it became evident that the dynamic had changed. We had been through the 'hi, my name is, I'm – years old' blah blah. The real question that seemed to pop up in my head was there a point to all this back and forth. Or realistically could I be okay if there wasn't?
Life went on as usual. I'd been studying Graphic Design for almost two years now. The daily grind of long-ass classes, never-ending assignments, and way too much to do each day. Having this new 'friendship' was a welcome relief from reality. I started noticing how I would hurry each day, always keeping my eyes on the time to get home at an appropriate time to jump on the net. It became so lame, to the point of one time I forgot my school bag. Yes, that's right. My school bag, with all my uni stuff in it. Something had to be done. And I knew that it was time to bite the bullet, and see if it exploded in my face. Hm, that's a pretty picture, isn't it?
I logged on that night, after the bag losing incident was resolved, determined to resolve a few other things. I noticed that he was already logged in. before he could say anything I sent him a message
Hey. Okay, this is me. Let me know.
Yes I know, us girls can be so vague when we want to be. There really are hidden layers in everything we say. For example, 'did you get the milk today honey?' really means, 'are you a lazy bastard again, and forgot to do the one thing I asked you to do all week'
But that's what makes us great. It's the Venus and Mars thing...
Anyway, I attached a picture onto my message, and waited...okay, I didn't really wait. I went and made myself some deep fried tofu-yes, tofu I love it. It was one of the only recipes I knew that would take up copious amounts of time to prepare. After I had finished, I sighed, and picked up my plate and sat down on the couch, next to my laptop. Looking at the screen the little IM thing flashed furiously.
I pressed on it,
Are you there?
Then scrolling back through I read the rest of the messages he had no doubt sent when I was burying myself hands-deep in floured tofu.
Wow. You’re really cute! How come it took this long to send a pic? Lol ;op
And there it was. What I had been anticipating, okay, dreading.
He was good-looking. It had to be a mistake? Maybe he stole a picture off flickr? Or some other photo-sharing place.
He was sun-kissed, in that I've just been to the Bahamas way, with blonde hair, and big blue eyes, that reminded me of the Pacific ocean. Wowy! was all I could think. I decided to express my thoughts in a more subtle way
Ur not too bad yourself Mr!
From then on things began to flow. We didn't always agree on everything. His taste in music differed from mine which caused a lot of debates. But I enjoyed the comradery. We seemed to click on a different level which I knew was more than friendship. He had a wicked sense of humor which kept me in stitches, even when I was having shit days he seemed to be able to pull me out of the pit I had dug myself. The next step seemed obvious but I was too afraid to voice it. What if he didn't like me in person? Luckily he was not the type to shy away from such taboos.
So when are we going to meet up?
Um. I don't know? You live kinda far away. Lol.
Well, I think it's about time.
I had been messaging this girl for what seemed like donkeys years. I can always tell when I like a girl straight away. This girl was different. The shy edge to her messages told me that this girl was something else. We could spend hours just chatting… well, over the internet, if you want to call that chatting. And she amused the heck out of me. When her picture came up I was pretty stoked. Haven't seen a girl look that good in a while. Her exotic looks drew me in, more than I was already I guess you could say. But she didn't seem that eager. I thought I would let her off the hook and show her my ugly mug. Okay, I know I'm not ugly, but I don't exactly say 'yeah, I look real hot today.' Who says that anyway? I waited impatiently for a reply, when it finally came I blew out a sigh of relief. Sweet, she likes it.
That had been the turning point from, 'hey what's up?' to 'hey what are you up to?' more personal. I had felt she had been keeping me at arms length for sometime now, but cool whatever.
The only real problem I could see is I knew I had to tell her...
Hey, have you seen that movie 'Saved'?
Yeah. It was hilarious! Why's that?
I started to fidget a little. I don't think she'll have a problem with it, per se, but I knew it could be a hiccup. I like to think positively about these things.
Well what did u think of Macaulay Culkin's character?
Um. he was hot. I don't normally like him, but I liked his character.
Cool, so what if I told you I'm like that?
An actor? Lol ;p
No, I mean the wheelchair part...
I waited for what seemed like an eternity. God, that girl knew how to keep me in anticipation. I began to think shit, I've done it now. The thing was we had already begun to arrange to meet up. She was coming to New York in her summer holidays from Uni. I probably should have told her sooner. Shit.
Funny thing was I had never had problems before getting girls. They seemed to just flock to me? I don't know if it was the chair thing? Or whether they just thought hey, he's a good-looking dude. And I know it looks stupid like I'm just saying this shit, but I'm serious. Even before my accident I had been the type of guy to not let anything stand in my way of getting a girls attention, only nowadays I found my personality seemed to be the major draw-card.
Okay. Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Man it sucks waiting for the internet to respond.
Okay, cool. ;op
Well, since we're being so open and honest I should tell you something...
Ears are opened.
Man this sounds lame. Here goes... I like it. A lot. In the way that I think it's...hot. :)
Oh wow. Never ever thought I'd hear those words- I had heard about some strange phenomena called 'Devotees' but thought it was something like a mythical creature, like unicorns, or Goku. It seemed like everything was falling into place, in the weirdest, but really good, way. That's all I'll say.
With a big-ass smile on my face, I said
Great, I think I'll take it. ;p
After that I explained what exactly that meant. I didn't want to go into too much specifics, just a general overview of the do's and don't' s, can't 's and wont's of a para. I didn't want to freak her out, but then again, she said she found it 'hot' so maybe a few details wouldn't hurt...
She told me things about her devo-ism and what that meant to her. Which really didn't sound too bad, at least I got the good end of the stick. Haha.
We continued until I told her that it was bedtime for me, the time difference is a real killer. Promising I'd catch her the next day, we said goodnight.
After logging out and shutting down the computer, I pushed back away from the computer desk, shoulders stiff from the awkward angle I'd been hunching in over the desk.
'I really have to get a laptop.' I thought, grimacing to myself.
Looking at the calendar on the wall I saw that it was only 27 days until she arrived.
Thank god, then I could stop imagining her, and really actually see her in the flesh. Nice...
I couldn't believe it. All my life I had had this fascination with guys in chairs. It seemed to take over my thoughts at the most unusual times. Like at my Great-Aunt Betty's funeral there was this young guy in a chair, who I wasn't even attracted to, there looking all sad over my Aunt's passing, and all I could think of was 'how can I start a conversation with him?' Really respectful of me, yep.
Though as I got older I wasn't so impetuous. I had decided it didn't matter anymore. It was an unusual quirk that I was just not going to think about anymore. But every time a wheeler would pass by me, like a black cloud intent on bringing the inevitable doom of hidden urges to the forefront of my mind. I had never succeeded in dating anyone with that particular turn-on, but in saying that I had dated my fair share of hot guys, and I guessed that was it.
I'm not saying I wasn't happy dating an ab guy, it was just different, easier. I never told them about my slightly askew interest, but eventually things would just fizzle out. I called it lack of common ground, but I knew it was more than that.
Staring at his picture after he'd logged off, I was stoked. Excited that in less than a month we would be face to face. I had no idea how I would function like a normal human for the next 27 days.
As it turned out I didn't have to wait long, the weeks flew by, with exams, tests and assignments all seemed to be due in at the same time-sometimes I really did think they're trying to kill us, so there won't be so many people who actually get degrees. Laughing at that thought, I handed my last assignment in, I was happy with it. I knew it was the best work I had done in a while. I think I'd been creatively inspired lately... Hehe!
Next thing I knew it was the day I was to leave. Waking up at 4am, morning flights suck, but that was the cheapest option for lack of funds, students don't exactly have money to throw around. Luckily I already lived in a city with an international airport.
After checking, then rechecking that I had everything. Camera, yes. Clothes, yes. Laptop, yes. Cell phone, yes. Passport, yep. Plane ticket, yes!! all systems were go.
At that moment my dad honked the horn. I scrambled to get all my stuff in an orderly fashion, to get into the car the most efficient and hassle-free way for little ol’ me. Luckily my dad, being the gentleman he was, popped his head in the door,
And with that he took my stuff to the car without a word. I stood in my little dorm room just looking around. I couldn't believe I wouldn't be in the country for just over a month. It was unreal. The excitement had set in, to say the least, and I let out a little squeal as I high-fived the air. Whirling around quickly, to make sure no-one had seen the immature display of enthusiasm, I straightened out my top and headed for the door.
The ride was quiet. A combination of the fact my father was a man of few words, and the fact that it was some ungodly hour of the morning and anyone with a half a mind would be tucked up cozy in their bed right now.
I gave my dad a hug and a “I'll email you when I get there.” and with that I waited in line with the hordes of people who were going to be spending the next 30 hours with me. Gosh it was going to be crammed. I just hoped there wouldn't be any babies on this flight.
Argh! I thought, I need as much beauty sleep as I can get!
For some reason I was still insecure about my looks. Maybe photos translate differently to how I see them? All I knew is I wanted to be chilled and looking my best when I hopped off that plane. Because I knew the first person who would be looking at me properly would be him.
The flight seemed to take forever, luckily I am the type of person who could fall asleep anytime or place if need be. Only waking for stopovers, meals, loo breaks, and at one point getting out a sweater and some moisturizer. I hate how planes seem to suck the warmth and moisture out your body.
As the plane got ready to descend I had made sure I was fresh and wide-eyed. Trying desperately to seem like I hadn't been on a smelly plane for 30 hours with sweaty people, all in the same clothes we had left in. giving up I acknowledged this was the best I was going to be able to do given the circumstances.
We left the plane two by two, like herds of cattle being routed to a certain paddock. My heart seemed to leave my chest as I walked out into the collection area, straining to see if I could see him.
I had obviously counted on the fact that this could all be one big joke on his part, getting the naďve foreign girl to fly across the other side of the world for nothing, but as I had spoke to him the night before (God, did he have a beautiful voice) I wasn't too worried. I had a back up plan.
I still hadn't spotted him when I had finally found my bag. For some reason when you're looking for your bag in a hurry it's always the last one on the conveyor belt? Murphy's law I guess.
I walked out towards the crowds of people waiting for their loved ones. When I spotted him, he was grinning. In his hands held a sign that said '-------!' On his lap was a bouquet of wildflowers.
What a sweety pie. I had to smile back as I made my way over.
He looked damn fine. He had obviously had a haircut since the pic he sent me was taken, closely shaved ice blonde hair, nice.
He had that rugged look that I was drawn to, not that typical picture perfect Hollywood type, he was yum. He was wearing a black t'shirt with a vintage band on the front and a green army shirt casually left open overtop, nice; a pair of faded jeans, and converses completed the look.
I like my man to look good, I thought to myself, giggling a little bit.
“Hi! How was your flight?”
“Long!” I had to laugh at how crazy this situation was. How often did people meet on the internet then randomly get on a long-haul flight across the ocean to say hi.
In person he was even better than his photos. Being able to see his face in real time was amusing. The little crooked grin he had was adorable. Those blue eyes with their big dark eyelashes were hypnotic. I am a sucker for gorgeous eyes.
“So what do you want to do now?” he smiled up at me.
Groaning I said, “All I want is caffeine and a shower! Preferably in that order.” I giggled.
“Fair enough.” he chuckled lightly. That crooked smile again, “I know how you love Starbucks.”
We looked at each other, and cracked up laughing again. If things continued this way it was going to be easy.
As we started to make our way through the crowded airport, he dropped the sign into the bin along the way, stopping at the coffee shop.
I hate Starbucks. I have this thing against evil corporations and the impersonal conglomerates in their high rises, making money off the little man. Also having come from a nation where coffee making is an art form, stooping this low felt wrong. I knew that this was going to be the closest thing to what we have back home. I hate plastic coffee.
We grabbed our coffees and went to the nearest seat, I knew it was easier for him instead of trying to make our way through all the customers and they're house-sized luggage. Even though the last thing I felt like doing was sitting after that flight I thought it was best to relax, and go with the flow.
“So, do you want to come back to my place after to have a shower?”
“Ah, I thought I should check into the hostel first, maybe, if that's sweet with you?” I didn't want to be rude, but it was part of my backup plan, if things went awry then I knew I had somewhere to stay.
“Sure. We can always meet up after.” he said breezily.
As I sat there waiting to pick her up from the airport, a thought did cross my mind, what the hell am I doing here? This was pretty nuts. You don't meet people over the net and ask them to fly over to the other side of the world, just to spend some time, do you? I guess if that's what the kids are doing these days...
At that moment I saw a short Asian girl with a mass of wavy black hair come through the doors. She had a perplexed look on her face. Like she didn't know whether she wanted to have a look around or maybe bolt back through the doors. Reminded me of deer hunting. Chuckling at that thought, I called out her name. She didn't seem to hear me. So I just sat there and waited. It wasn't going to be that hard for her to spot me. The only young guy in a wheelchair in the room, holding a sign with her screen user-name on it. I thought it was a funny touch to a potentially awkward situation.
As she got closer I noted, she looked even better than her pic. She was hot. She was tanned and athletic looking. That wild mane of hair was tied loosely to the side curling at the ends, her eyes were carefully highlighted to make them stand out, and those lips were impossibly big, red and juicy. She wore tight black jeans with a brown leather belt, a black singlet with a cropped bright blue cardigan over top. She was in fine form. Like she had chosen those clothes to show off her petite but toned frame. I was liking a lot...
After the formalities got themselves out of the way, we headed over to Starf***s. The great thing was we both hated the place with a vengeance but we were both the biggest hypocrites. Another thing we had in common.
I noticed that she definitely was aware of my chair, maybe she had done some research or something? She lead the way to the nearest table, which I was thankful for, I guess she must have been thinking about stuff which I didn't know if it was entirely good or bad?
On one hand its great that she knows a bit, cos I didn't feel like being embarrassed in front of her, and having to give her the quick version of gimp 101, on the other hand it kinda sucked that she had obviously thought about everything in careful detail. Like not going to the very back tables past all the people with their dumb-ass luggage strewn in the walkways; and moving a chair aside so I could roll right into the empty space. She also seemed to position herself a little further away, which made me wonder if she was trying to give me space or she was just uncomfortable?
I had been thinking seriously, ever since we had decided to meet up for real that maybe fantasy was going to be better than reality for her. She had told me she'd never dated a wheeler, or even been friends with one before, so I wondered how can she really like or be turned on by something she hasn't witnessed up close and personal? Maybe I was just turning her off now that we weren't hidden behind the computer screen of safety.
“So, what's the plan?”
She looked at me a little confused, “Ah, I thought you were going to show me around?”
“Yeah I was. Cool. Just wondered since you're staying at a hostel, you might have other peepz to meet up with.” I tried not to sound all negative. But it was gay that she had chosen to stay somewhere else. I had told her she was more than welcome to crash at my pad, in the spare room, but she had insisted on paying money for a bed in a dingy little hostel. I kind of guessed why, and understood a little. It still sucked though.
“Nah, the closest person I know lives like 4 hours away. And besides I came here to see you.” with that she smiled at me in a way I knew she was still into me. Maybe everything was going to be all gravy...
So with that we took off, I led her to my car, which wasn't far from the front door. Thank you handicap-parking-space-putting people. I popped the trunk for her and told her I would start getting in if she's alright. I figured I should get a head start cos its not exactly fast getting in the car when you’re in a chair. She waited patiently by the side of the car, puffing on a cigarette she just stared at me, a smirk playing on her lips. God she was sexy.
“What?” I had to smirk back.
“Nothing.” those lips somehow got impossibly bigger.
“Tell me.” I chided.
“Well, okay...it's just I can't believe I'm here, with you. It's insane. You're like, really, hot. I like watching you. Does that put you off?” she looked at me coyly.
I had to laugh, “nah, I was pretty much thinking the same thing too.” she had a cute laugh.
After putting my chair in the back and lighting my own smoke, I mumbled, “You can get in now” as I turned the car on and put it into gear. At that moment Nirvana's 'Smells like Teen Spirit' filled the silence. I totally loved that shit.
“Oh my Gosh! I love this song!!” she giggled at me then started singing along. I couldn't help it, and joined in. We must look like such idiots to everyone passing by, but I didn't care. I hadn't had this much fun with a girl in ages. Most girls seemed to prissy and girly. They didn't want to get dirty or do anything that made them look stupid. I had known all along that this girl was different and I was beginning to really like a lot of things about her.
We chatted as I drove. Trying to figure out the logistics of how the day was going to go. Pulling up to the hostel, I noticed it was inaccessible. So we decided I would just wait for her in the car. I watched her get out, nice ass. I was thinking, until she turned around and caught me checking her out.
“You okay there?” she smirked at me.
“Ah, yeah. I was just um, checking out the hostel.” I knew she didn't believe me, but it sounded better than, 'hey I was just checking you out.' she laughed that laugh at me.
“Shut up and get out will you!” I chuckled back at her.
Giggling still, “Okay. Be right back.”
As I checked into the pokey little hostel, I thought about how everything was going. I couldn't believe how well it was going. I think it was the combo of the fact that we were both quite relaxed in each others company, and we had a similar sense of humor. I noticed that as I had gotten out of the car he had checked me out. Which was actually quite nice, normally I get pissed at random people checking me out. I guess it's the fem-bot in me. I actually yelled at a cabbie one time as he leered out the window of his taxi saying rude shit at me. I didn't even think I just yelled back, 'you horrible dirty f***er!' After-wards I realized I'm too outspoken. But he deserved it.
I hurried to put my stuff away and grab some stuff to take a shower. A few people were in the room, we had our introductions. They all seemed pretty cool. I had to interrupt a good conversation, reminding myself that someone was waiting for me. I get distracted easily. After I got changed into a black hoody and a denim mini skirt, black tights and some converses. I ran out the door, wet hair flying.
“Sorry I took so long! People were introducing themselves all over the show.” I said breathlessly.
“All good. Was just having a nap.” with that I jumped into the car.
“So where are we off to?”
“I thought we'd stop at my house for a little bit if that's okay. My flatmates should be back soon, then we can find out from there.”
“Sure.” it did sound like fun. I had always imagined what his place was like. Well, really what his world was like. The internet world was all we knew and it was exciting to see if what I had imagined even came close.
We pulled up into the suburbs, I had no idea where the heck we were, but it was nice to know the city didn't envelope the entire area. His house was a normal looking place, with a few modifications. We went inside then, and I got the grand tour. He pointed out his kitchen, lounge, bathroom, flatmates’ rooms, then his room. Looking at his computer desk, I imagined all those times we were on the internet messaging each other, it was nice to see that it was real and I didn't just make it up. His room was a typical boys room, a little tidier, but still smelly, with posters of bands on the walls, guitars in the corner, CD’s everywhere, TV with a playstation3 plugged in, that looked like it had been permanently there since he had bought it.
So pretty much how I had imagined it. He noticed that I had been surreptitiously eying up his room.
“So does everything check out?” he said sarcastically.
“Sure does.” I laughed at him, “So what's next Oh-awesome-tour-guide?”
“I thought we'd just hang for a bit. My flatmates will be back soon, then there's a gig to go to later tonight. How does that sound?”
“That sounds perfect. I'm so tired.” with that I kicked my shoes off and picked up the playstation3 controller as I sat on his bed, “So what's good to play? I'm crap at car games, but I like to shoot stuff!” I did my best impersonation of a machine gun, it really must have been sad because he just laughed at me. And that started the war...
About an hour later his flatmates turned up with a box of beers, so we decided to get on it. They were pretty cool guys, didn't seem to mind at all that I was a girl, or that I'd flown all the way over here to hang out with their friend who I had never met before. They just treated me like one of them. Making fun of my accent, asking me what my home planet looked like, blah blah.
It was cool. I normally get on with guys better than girls anyway, so it was just like home except for the accents. Everything was cool until they realized the time, we all piled into a car, I was sitting next to him, my leg pressed up against his, he put his arm around me as he yelled to his mate to turn up the music.
We arrived outside a pizza place, while one of his friends ran in and picked up a couple of pizzas, they had obviously ordered sometime before we left. It smelt so good, I could have probably eaten one entirely by myself.
We waited until we reached the car park of the place where the gig was, and just chatted while eating and drinking. People started to show up, and that brought new people into the mix. Everyone was pretty cool, apart from a couple of people getting into a semi-fight, until their friends intervened.
The doors opened to the gig and everyone started heading inside. I waited while his flatmate got out his chair, and watched him transfer while chatting to some random. He was so cute, I liked that he wasn't slowed down by his chair, everyone didn't seem to even notice. I smiled as he looked at me when he had finished. Brakes off, he wheeled over to me,
“You liked that huh?” he whispered evily.
“Of course.” I grinned at him, “Shall we?” gesturing towards his friends as they made their way to the club. He just smirked at me.
Inside the club was filling up fast, so we grabbed a table near the side, but so we could still see the stage visibly. The atmosphere was lively, and I had totally forgotten that I had been jet lagged on arrival just a few hours ago. The drinks flowed until the band got up. The crowd roared, most of his friends got to their feet, a few going down the front, it was chaos. I loved it. There's no better atmosphere than a live music venue, if you ask me.
I had started jiggling in my seat while chatting to him and his friends. He seemed to notice how I couldn't sit still.
He lent over to me, and swept back some of my hair, “You should go dance, before you break the chair.” he whispered into my ear, before he planted a kiss on my cheek.
“Are you sure?” I mouthed to him, it was so freak'n loud.
He nodded, and grinned at me.
I was a little bit happy...
Though I loved his company and his friends were awesome, I also like to boogie like there's no tomorrow.
So I hit the dance floor with renewed enthusiasm, some of his friends girls made their way over and I guess you could call it a little saucy in there.
A few songs or so later, the band took a break, so I made my way back to the table. All the seats were full so I just stood there, one hand on his shoulder as I recounted some of my favorite dance moves with him. He just laughed as I showed him my version of the robot. Just then one of his friends spoke up,
“Pull up a chair, hun.”
“No need to,” he interjected grinning, as he pushed away from the table and patted his
lap. “She's got a chair right here.” he grabbed me around the waist with one arm and pulled me to
I laughed as I smacked him in the shoulder (I grew up with many brothers...) then plopped myself into his lap. He wrapped an arm around me and continued chugging his beer back.
The room carried on conversing and I could feel the several beers really start to take effect. I lent my head in between the crook in his shoulder and his neck, turning slowly I breathed into his ear,
“I'm having a fantastic time. You're friends are really cool. You, are really cool...really yum...” I licked the side of his neck, to prove that he was really yum, I guess?
The world began to spin a little after that.
I was having an awesome time with this girl. She somehow just seemed to fit into my little world. I loved the fact that she was so comfortable. Sitting on my lap, whispering in my ear and kissing me occasionally, she was so sexy. She was still wearing that little mini she had changed into earlier and the outline of her legs in those black tights was...oh man... I think a cold shower was in order. Well, at least a mental one.
I knew she was wasted, and so was I, but I was going to be a gentleman. Especially as it was her still her first night here. I didn't want this to go badly, cos I think I was really falling for her...gulp.
“Hey hun.” she whispered into my ear again, gently biting and licking it in between words, “You want to go find a dark corner?” giggling now, in between biting still.
I had to chuckle, “um, how about we wait till we get home, instead of in a sweaty club, and plus you’re drunk.” I messed her hair up affectionately, just to show her I still wanted her.
Pouting she said, “Fine. I know I'm a little bit, teensey wincy bit drunk.” she went cross-eyed as she tried to show me 'teensy wincy' with her fingers.
I couldn't help myself, I pulled her face to mine and drew her in for a full on kiss...kisses... well, lots of kisses.
Her lips felt good on mine, moist and full, tasting like corona and cigarettes. I could smell her perfume on the nape of her neck, and the smell of her hair, a mix of coconut, exotic floral scents and vanilla.
I forgot for a while, that we were sitting at a table with a whole bunch of my friends, until I heard wolf-whistling and smooching noises coming from a few of the guys I'd like to punch in the nose.
I looked up grinning, and chucked a plastic bottle at one of them.
“Could we get some privacy here, please.” I laughed at them.
I looked at her to make sure she was sweet with what happened. It was slightly embarrassing, but I'd been waiting for this moment for a while so I really didn't care. She was just grinning. One of my mates’ girlfriends lent in and started gossing with her, so I just carried on conversation with some of the guys.
It was about four-thirty in the morning when the club started to pack up. The band had finished ages ago, a DJ started after that, now a CD just kept skipping in the background. The lights came on and we knew it was over. My friends got up to leave and I gestured that I wanted to get my jacket on, if we were going to be going back out into the cold. She stood up and made her way to the loo, pausing only to blow me a kiss.
“Hey bro!” a hand slapped me on the shoulder, “That girl is a hottie! Where'd you say you found her again?” he laughed at me. “Gotta get me one of those!” he made some obscene hand gestures.
I normally really liked him, but when he was drunk he could be an ass.
“I didn't, bro.” and with that I wheeled off to where some of the other guys were.
She came out shortly after looking a little pale.
“Are you alright?” I looked at her, concerned she might chunder in front of me.
“Ah, yeah. Had a wee accident in the ladies.” she laughed, until she thought better of the jerky motion. “Yeah, not so gravy now...”
I chuckled a little, “Okay, we'll get you home. You think you can make it to the car or you need a ride?” I gestured to my lap again.
“Haha!” she said as she lightly punched me and started making her way to the exit.
“Hey, I was serious!” I laughed as I followed her out to the car.
When we got to the car we realized we had lost a few good men. I looked around trying to find them. All I heard was faint yelling in the distance that sounded vaguely familiar.
Oh well, I thought, serves them right if they have to walk all the way home.
We got into the car, which was heaps easier with less people. She sat in the back leaning on the door, watching me with those eyes of hers. I thought I'd give her a little show, taking my time to get in...
“Hurry up bro. You're taking forever.” one of my mates said impatiently.
“Yeah, yeah. Good things take time, bro.” I murmured, not even caring that he was there.
In the car she lay her head on my lap, I think several times falling asleep then waking up, as she slyly rubbed my lap. I didn't have the heart to tell her, I knew she'd find out eventually...but now didn't seem a good time when she was drunk, semi-conscious and all my flatmates were in the car. We arrived at my flat and everyone piled out. She seemed coherent enough to make it up the ramp and through the front door.
“Hey bro, where do you want me to put her?” my flatmate grinned at me.
“Just lead her to my room, ass-muncher!” I laughed at him as I continued my transfer.
I followed them inside and headed to my room, where she was passed out on my bed. I sighed, in a good way, and took her shoes off then grabbed a blanket and tucked it up around her. I made my way to the couch and crashed for the night.
I woke up with a killer headache, make that hangover... hadn't had one of those in so long. Between work and study there just wasn't time to get wasted. I think I had seriously made up for it last night. I sat up slowly and turned around to see if I was in bed with someone other than myself... thank goodness I found no-one. On the bedside table was a glass of water and a flower laid on top of a note. I picked up the flower and tucked it behind my ear, then started reading the note,
Am in the house somewhere
come find me when your
I had to smile to myself, what a honey!
I got up and made my way into the lounge, there were blankets strewn on the couch. He must have slept there last night, well, this morning I guessed correctly. The place was eerily quiet. Maybe everyone had left? I made my way outside via the kitchen, the sliding doors were wide open as I stepped onto the back deck. Oh man, the sun was bright.
“Hey there sleepyhead.” a grin greeted me.
He was just sitting in his chair, with his shirt off drinking what looked like coffee, trying to soak up the rays from the winter sun.
He was tanned and well muscled. He reminded me a little like my old ken doll. A little too perfect. I just wanted to go rub my hands over those pecs, maybe squeeze those biceps. Mmm...
But I guess my version of perfect is a little bit different from Mattell's. He had on a pair of black skate pants on and no shoes. His feet just sitting there. I liked the look of him. Head to toe. Nice....
“Hello, you.” I smiled back, “How long you been up? No, more importantly, what's the time now?” I laughed, thinking, the jet-lag had finally set in.
Chuckling he said, “Well, it's after two o'clock now, I've been up for about an hour and a half. My flatmates have gone either to work or gone out.”
“Oh, sorry!! You should have woken me.” I felt bad, I hadn't expected to stay the night because of this, I didn't want to cramp anyone's style, have them feel they have to look after me.
“Don't be silly babe. You needed the sleep. I keep forgetting you only arrived yesterday, you deserve to sleep in.” he said shrugging, then lighting up a cigarette, “You want one?” he offered to me.
“Yeah, thanks.” I took one and lit it with his lighter, sitting down on the chair next to him.
“So how badly did I embarrass myself?” I cringed inwardly.
He just laughed heartily, waiting till he could speak clearly, “You were great! In fine form, truly, it was spectacular.” he leaned over and kissed my forehead. “Nah, seriously, you vomited at the club, but apart from como-ing out, you were enchanting. Relax, babe. ”
He inhaled his ciggie and started to rub my neck with one hand. Gosh his hands were magnetic.
He was like a qualified masseuse, with those big thumbs digging into my hotspots. I was practically mush in between his fingers.
I opened my eyes to notice I had moved my chair in front of his, or maybe he had moved behind mine? I had no idea where I had put the cigarette I had started to smoke.
“How's that? You have a shitload of knots, babe.”
“Holy crap, you're hands are magic! You can't stop. Ever...” I murmured in ecstasy.
I love massages. If I could, I would have one every day, maybe twice a day...
Laughing he retorted, “yeah, okay, that means you have to stay here forever” he cracked up. “Do I get cigarette breaks, or toilet breaks? What happens when we get hungry?” I could feel the smirk behind me.
“Well, I guess our lives will be really short then.” I giggled at the ridiculous image in my head.
Right then, he leant his head towards mine, I could feel his hot breath on the side of my neck. He slowly traced a line of gentle kisses up my neck to my ear, I shivered in anticipation, the hairs on my neck standing up. Oh gosh, this was a great start to the day...
“You look tired baby. Maybe I should take you back to bed?” his grin was evil.
“Well...I am feeling a little bit sleepy.” I started to turn to him as I spoke, biting my lip I gave him my best coy, but still sexy, look.
It must have worked, because he lent in grabbing my head he drew my lips to his, hard, but passionately.
I didn't worry for once about my morning breath, he didn't seem to care about anything. Somehow I had climbed off my chair and was straddling his. Facing him on his lap, each of my legs on either side of his chair. What can I say, I'm fairly flexible.
“Okay, we might have to go inside. I think it's time to get to know each other a bit better.” that wicked grin lit his face as he eyed my up.
I had no idea how I looked, I only could guess that I mustn't look too shit, even though I had slept in my clothes from yesterday. Yum.
He looked at me as though I was a prize, or some apparition that was going to disappear if he didn't devour me. It was a nice feeling, to be wanted. To see a gorgeous man look at me like he was the one who was winning, not the other way around.
I followed him into his bedroom and closed the door behind me. I sat on the far side of his big queen size bed, and watched him transfer. He had good use of his trunk and it showed as the muscles rippled and flexed as he pulled himself onto the bed. Adjusting his legs he grinned at me wickedly. I knew now was the time for playing...
He was sitting up on the bed just looking at me. I felt shy all of a sudden. As I remembered I had never even been friends with someone in a wheelchair, let alone slept with someone in a wheelchair. I didn't want to do anything wrong. I hadn't really even asked what worked and what didn't.
Oh gosh, I think I was hyperventilating...? the room looked really small.
“What are you doing all the way over there baby?” he patted the bed beside him, oblivious to my internal mini meltdown.
“Ah, I-I think I have to go get some water.” I started to crawl across the bed. The only way out was going past him. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to him, I couldn't resist, because he actually was stronger than me!
“What's up babe? You've got water here, remember?” his blue eyes looking all concerned.
“Nothing, I'm just being a dick, don't worry.” I shrugged off my panic with a nonchalant attitude.
“We don't have to rush anything. If you don't want to. It's all good.” he pulled me close to his chest and kissed my head briefly.
I pulled back to look at him properly, “Of course I want to hun, it's just you might have to be a little vocal as we go, ya know?” I spoke seriously, but smiled impishly at the end.
I hate really serious moments that go on forever. This was supposed to be fun and I was ruining it.
“No probs babe.” and with that he took the lead, so to speak.
He was gentle, at times, and other times he was insatiable. He had the most talented tongue I had ever had the pleasure of working with.
He made me feel like I was the only woman in the world, so it was imperative that my pleasure was high on the priority list.
At the same time I learnt that he loved it a little bit rough. Which worked in my favor because I've always been a little bit rough and tumble, not in a 'tie anyone up and whip' em' way, more in a 'your not that breakable aye?' way. A little bit sadistic perhaps...
I didn't really have time to contemplate the thought clearly...
It was settled.
After the afternoon spending time together, she gave up on the stupid hostel idea and we moved her stuff to my place.
I knew I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to bring it up, but it was always at the back of my mind.
Being with her was a new experience.
On one hand she was like one of the boys, liked sport, drinks beer, plays games etc...
On the other hand she was all woman. She knew how to seduce me with just a look, I loved hearing her giggle at my lame jokes, and little things like not wanting to do something cos it was “Ew.” cracked me up.
She seemed like the perfect girl for me (so far...) only prob was that her permanent address was located far away...
I decided that I wasn't going to even bring it up. Just going to go with the flow and see what happened in the end. Hell, for all I know she wasn't feeling the same way. Maybe this was just a bit of fun for her?
We spent most days, when I wasn't working, sight-seeing and hanging out. Sometimes just us, which was great, I really got a feel for who she was; and sometimes with my friends, which was just chaos. Good chaos.
One thing I learnt about her was that the girl liked to shop!
I bought her a few things, that she wanted, but didn't want to pay the 'ridiculous price' (she converted everything to her currency before purchasing!-which I guess is kinda smart?) She almost took them back. Another thing I learnt: she doesn't like presents. Weird, but whatever. I snuck them into her bags anyway.
Our time was almost up, so I planned a romantic dinner, then a farewell party at our flat afterward. I noticed she was a bit mellow counting down to the day, but she didn't want to say anything. Well, I didn't really ask...until I couldn't handle it anymore.
We were sitting in my favorite cafe three blocks from my house.
“Hey babe? Are you okay?” I looked at her concerned.
She sighed, “Yeah hun. Just thinking.” she put her sunglasses on as the winter sun made an appearance.
“What about? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.” I back-peddled. Not wanting to intrude more than she wanted me to. Or maybe I just didn't want to know the answer.
Looking at me, she took a drag on her ciggie, “I'm leaving tomorrow.”
Yeah, I know, I thought sighing internally. “Yeah?”
“Well...what happens after that?” she took off her sunnies to stare into my eyes.
“What do you want to do?” (Hey, I'm a boy. Feelings don't come naturally, okay?)
She rolled her eyes, as if she knew what I was thinking. “So how do you feel about me?”
“You know...” I really didn't want to be first. All mushy and shit.
“No, actually I don't.” she was starting to get a bit shitty.
I could feel the icy glare starting to head in my direction. It wasn't like I didn't want to talk about it. I just didn't want to talk about it, ya know?
“Okay. I'll go first.” she groaned. “I've had a wicked as time with you. I love your friends, this place, blah blah... and I really like you.” looking into my eyes briefly before turning to speak to the roadside, “I like you more than I thought I would. Not that I really had any expectations.” she laughed.
“Yeah, I feel the same,” I admitted, not looking at her either.
“But this isn't my home. And I don't know how I could stay here?- if that was an option, I mean.” She was so cute. Still unsure, even though I told her how I felt.
“Don't be silly babe, of course I want you to stay. I just don't know how either?” I picked up her hand and wound my fingers through hers. She turned to look at me frowning, I tried to straighten it out with a kiss. It was a bit of a reach, but worth it to see that smile.
We still hadn't figured it out by the time we left the cafe, making our way back to my house in somber silence.
Later on, we got ready for our last dinner. I wanted to make it as special as possible, I just didn't know how?
We got dressed separately, me in the bathroom, her in my room.
We made it seem like I had come to pick her up from her house, like a first date, only it wasn't-well, maybe officially it was?
A little role-playing never hurts.
I was a little bit nervous. It just seemed too final. I think she was in the same state as I was. Giggling nervously, when I went outside, closed the door, than rung the doorbell for her to answer.
“Hello.” she giggled. “Who's there?”
(Thank God my flatmates were out!) “Um, it's me.”
Opening the door, “Hey baby.” she lent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek, than suddenly turned to kiss me on the mouth, hard. It surprised me at first, than I responded, grabbing the back of her head and pulling it further toward me, I couldn't seem to get enough of her, I pulled her onto my lap. It felt like all our anguish over the unknown was in that one kiss.
When we pulled apart she said breathlessly grinning at me, “Wow, that was some hello kiss!”
“Tell me about it!” I grinned back.
With that I led her to my car, stopping to open the door for her before I got in. It made things a lot slower but I felt I had to go the whole hog. Make the night truly memorable. Who knows who she'll meet when she goes home.
We spent the night over candle light, a live jazz band crooned to us out of one corner of the room. I had asked the restaurant ahead of time, apart from the obvious chair problem, if they could put the black long stemmed rose I had bought her, (her favorite) on her side of the table; and arranged a specially ordered dessert for later (her favorite Pavlova with berry coulis).
We ate in cheerful abandon, I love a girl with a good appetite; laughing and joking made the night light-hearted and fun. Just how I planned it to be.
When dessert was served, her eyes grew large. I could see she was stoked at the gesture. To top it off, her favorite song by Billie Holiday came on, “Summertime”. (My second to last surprise for the night.)
I had thought ahead, and had arranged a friend that she had danced with before, to come and dance with her. At first she didn't want to go, to leave me behind. But I told her it was sweet, I was more than happy to watch her have a good time.
I think I saw tears start to well up in her eyes, but she turned away too quickly to be sure.
I couldn't believe it.
My last night there was turning out to be perfect. He had gone all out. I knew why. We didn't exactly know when we would be together again, and he wanted to make it memorable. And it was.
I was reluctant to dance with his friend, when I knew what was happening. But he insisted, it was all in his master plan. When I saw that he genuinely was sweet with it, a weight fell off. I let myself dance with abandon. His friend was a really great dancer. As I lent my head on his shoulder, I kept my eyes on him the whole time. Imagining it was him with me instead. I couldn't stop the tears from coming, wiping them away as subtly as I could. It was so girly!
He just kept smiling at me, happy with just a hint of sadness.
Afterward, we headed back to his house. I wished I could hold his hand as we made our way to the car... but I guess that's the last of my worries, I thought wistfully.
As we went entered the house, just chatting about things that had happened that night, I got the shock of my life when he turned the lights on....
About thirty people jumped out at me, well at least that's how it felt when we turned the lights on.
All of a sudden people were in my face with “We're going to miss you!!”
“Please don't go!”
“Keep in touch!”
Blah blah... I couldn't keep up. My head swirled as my eyes filled up. Every few hugs I would look around to see him, our eyes meeting, we'd exchange those sad-tinged grins.
He was amazing. I had no idea what I was going to do.
The party went crazy! We broke out the beers, even a couple of the girls had made cocktails, yum. It was a lively time. I didn't get to spend that much time with him, as there was too many people to say hi and goodbye. I tried not to get too wasted so I'd remember it clearly but alas, the people had other ideas! My last night went off with a bang, literally. They had illegal fireworks.
I spent the last part of the night in his lap, his arms around me. I snuggled in to keep warm even though we had a brazier going, and we were all winding down around it, just chatting and drinking.
Occasionally we would whisper into each others ears, things that only the two of us should share.
The next day I awoke slowly. I felt like shit. A hand snaked across the bed and wound itself around me, pulling me to him.
“Hello gorgeous.” smiling, he peppered me with kisses.
“No!!” I giggled and tried to get away, well, half-tried to get away...
“I don't want you to go.” he murmured seriously, as we snuggled together.
“I know,” I sighed. “I don't want to go either...”
Nothing had been cleared up, but I had got an inkling of an idea...
We had to hurry to get to the airport after waking up late. It was a whirlwind of goodbyes to the remaining people who had crashed for the night, and jumped in the car. We managed to catch all the good traffic lights, thank God! And got there in plenty of time in the end.
I watched him transfer for the last time, imprinting him into my memory. He made a spectacle of himself trying to make a show of it...rubbing it in.
God, he knew how hot I got when he...little shit.
I laughed at him, and lent in giving him a jolly good smooch on those luscious full lips, nearly sending him off balance.
“You deserve that, you know you do!” I giggled into his ear, as the passersby glared at me.
I knew what they were thinking. Evil girl preying on the helpless disabled boy. I really didn't give a shit. After spending just over five weeks with him, almost 24/7, I was more than comfortable.
I checked in, and we made our way to the departure place. I hung on till the very last boarding call.
We exchanged hugs and many kisses, and a few too many tears, mostly on my side, but surprisingly a few on his side too.
I was going to call as soon as I got home. And we were going to sort out how we could be together. He suggested coming to me, but I thought it was unrealistically far for him. Plus there wasn't really anything exciting to see where I lived. He begged to differ...
“Bye baby,” I sobbed into his shoulder, still sitting on his lap. I was oblivious to everyone around me witnessing the silly girl's emotional outburst.
“It's going to be okay, babe. We're going to make this work.” he mumbled into my hair as he seemed to kiss every part of me. Memorizing each others smells, tastes, bodies, voices...
“You promise?” I pouted like a child.
“Of course Baby!” he laughed, messing my hair up again! (Boys, were so annoying sometimes.)
I boarded the plane, feeling conflicted. On one hand I was really sad to be leaving him and his world. I'd loved it there and could see myself living there permanently; on the other hand, I missed my family and my routine. There really is no place like home.
Arriving home after only 28 and a half hours. (Woo-hoo!) I made my way to where my mother and father were waiting. We met each other half way, hugging and kissing. Man, I didn't realize how much I missed them. Crazy.
When I finally got home I jumped on the phone, ignoring all the messages that had obviously built up since I'd gone away, dialing his number I waited patiently.
“...H-hello?” yawning, “This you, baby?”
Relief flooded my being at the sound of his voice, “Hey hun. Did I wake you?” I had to giggle a little, because I knew I had.
“Nah, I was just waking up at 4:30 in the morning for fun!” He chuckled back at me.
“I just wanted to tell you I'm home, safe and sound; and I talked to some people. I can definitely transfer to NYU with what I'm doing. Maximum two semesters though. I'm really excited!” Squealing into the phone, I totally forgot that he had morning ear syndrome.
“Oh crap! Sorry hun.” I cringed, whispering.
“All good babe. That's great. I can't wait. Miss you. But baby?”
“Can I call you back in maybe, five hours?”
I had to laugh at that, “Sure Hun,” giggling still, “Or you can IM me later.”
“All gravy...just one thing?”
“Reality Better than Fantasy?”
I laughed, “You know it hun!”
It was a running worry with us, from the start. I smiled that he still even had to ask.
“Goodnight Honey.” With that we hung up.
Only five hours to go...
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