Dinner was turning out to be a good time, rather than the nightmare I had envisioned a few hours ago. We spent the whole evening talking, joking, eating and drinking, and mostly laughing.
My mom seemed to absolutely adore Micah. Which I guess isn't hard?
Let's break it down...
Micah is goodlooking, there's no denying that. But that wasn't the whole allure for me.
I heard on Oprah the other day, that when women are ovulating, they give off a scent that attracts males.
It's a scent that makes women somehow (magically) seem more attractive. Scientifically, they believe it is because the males are attracted to women who can give the best chance of survival of the species. I had no idea if that was why the heck Micah went after me?! But whatever it was, I'll take it.
Ha! Survival of the species...yeah right.
I did know why I pursued Micah in the end (well, if you can call what I did do, 'pursuit'?!)
Micah had that unexplainable “something” that held my attention.
In one's lifetime, I believe from experience, you meet a few people you just really 'click' with.
It's that intangible “something” that draws you in.
Knowing nothing about their background, or what they're like, you somehow start talking and sort of...never stop?!—I mean you obviously stop!
But it's that feeling like, you've known that person all your life, and you can totally be yourself. Honest, real, stupid, raw, crazy, emotional. They just seem to “get” you...
It's not like your saying, 'I don't give a f*ck about your feelings or if you don't like what I'm saying!'
It's more like, 'I know this person knows me, and at times they might not like or agree with what I'm saying, but I know they'll still love and accept me for who I am.'
I guess you can say it's almost like family? But not...
Argh! It's so hard to explain!
Micah, Micah, Micah...what to say about Micah?
He's intelligent, and smart—no, not just a smart-ass, but actually smart. He knows a sh*tload of crap I wouldn't even think to learn about!?
Micah is also a charmer. He's sooo great at turning on the charm for the ladies, that half the time he doesn't even know he's doing it.
I totally forget, because most of the time I had viewed it as him being annoying and up himself...but I guess that wasthe charm?
That confidence, even if was just a facade, it was infectious.
Sometimes it came across as arrogance, and that sort of stereo-typical “macho-caveman” kind of vibe—in other words, he seemed like a real Player to me. (I f*cken hate players...)
But as I soon found out, my judgements were wrong. Underneath that was a real person.
I'm not saying he was a liar or pretended to be someone he wasn't. It was more that, in each person there are layers. Layers to their personality. Each of them true, and maybe completely diverse, but it makes up who that person is. Kind of like that onion analogy in Shrek!? Haha!
We had just left Micah at his restaurant, and were walking back to the car casually.
“Baby?” my mom said quietly.
“Mm?” I was too busy thinking over how well everything went.
My mother stopped in front of me and put a hand on my arm. She looked really guilty?
“What's wrong mom?”
“...I don't want you to date Micah anymore.” She said softly.
“Ah, excuse me?!” I was taken back. (Hadn't they just got on like a house on fire?)
“I'm not trying to be rude, or mean. And I know your an adult now, but I think this is a big mistake, honey.” She looked concerned.
I knew she wasn't trying to be all, I hate him! He's an asshole, or whatever. My mom isn't like that. Even if she didn't really like someone, she would at least tell me she wasn't going to say anything. So I knew she genuinely felt like he was wrong for me or something?
“Um, okay? Where did this come from?” I was perplexed, “You seemed to really like him when we were having dinner. Laughing and joking at my expense.”
“Darling. I—he—Micah, is a wonderful young man. Very funny and charming, but I just don't think he's right for you...I can't explain it. I just think you'd be better off single for a while?”
“...okay...wow. I didn't expect that—well, maybe at the very start. But not now...” I was completely dumbfounded. “Uh, well, Mom...I really like Micah. I don't know how to put it?” I stood thinking for a second. “I know I haven't been single for long, but I'm pretty sure this isn't a rebound relationship!” I laughed a little.
“I just think you haven't had enough time to see us interact together. We're pretty much on the same wavelength, personality-wise. Plus, he's pretty damn fine.” I giggled. More to myself than anyone else.
My mother just sighed. “It's more than that baby. I just think there's been too much drama already in your relationship, and I'm pretty sure it's not going to get any less. I only want what's best for you Skye, you know that. I just think you need a break from drama...” She trailed off, giving up I presumed, and resumed her walk to the car.
I was left standing there, thinking. Until I noticed her exiting. “Hold up mom!?” I ran after her, and stopped her in her tracks.
“What do you mean, the drama's 'not going to get any less'? Do you mean, like the Stacey and Dave thing?” I really wanted to know.
Sighing, she unlocked the car door. “Hop in baby,” she said calmly.
She waited till we had put our seatbelts on, and she had pulled out onto the road.
Keeping her eyes firmly straight ahead, “Skye. He's a lovely boy. You know I think he's very handsome, and charming. He has a good head on his shoulders. My problem is....an obvious one.” She glanced at me quickly before returning to the road, “I try my best not to be judgemental, and Lord knows I'm not perfect!” She laughed a little, “But the boy has problems. Serious problems. I don't think you understand fully what that means?” She looked at me out of the corner of her eye.
I was silent for a moment. Not because I had no defence, but because I wanted to word it right.
She started talking again, “I think, Skye, that you have romantisized the ideal of who this boy is. Especially as it is the start of the relationship. The honeymoon period. Where everything about that person seems fantastic, and lovely. The problem is, I love you and please don't take this the wrong way; Micah, is seriously disabled. You have to understand my position, as your parent, I'm supposed to tell you when I think someone is unsuitable. You're young, carefree, adventurous. I mean, you moved to the City, on your own, when you were 17!? And that is who you are. I love that that's who you are. But do you really want to get tied down to someone who has their base here, and can't just up and move as easily as you like to?”
She was using my 'Gypsy'-persona as a bargaining chip. Good job, mom. Way to hit the heart strings...
I swallowed for a bit...
“I know you like this boy. And it is clearly obvious he adores you. And it's sad, because I think he deserves every happiness...I just don't want it to be you honey.” She was all choked up.
I knew it hurt her to say these things to me, and I tried to block it out so I could concentrate on being angry.
“...are you going to say anything baby?” She said nervously.
“I'm thinking.” was all I could manage through my gritted teeth.
I mean, she does have a point. If anyone else had said this to me I would have told them where to go. But because it was my mom it was a little harder...
Her reasons were sound. I mean, I love to move. I love the feeling of changing it up. Changing the experiences. Seeing all I could see, making the most of the life I had been given.
I mean, I had been here for almost two years, and I had been feeling the 'Itch' in the last five months or so...Drew had been the only reason to stay, at the time.
Now it's Micah...
If I hadn't felt so strongly about Micah, I would've left by now. Nothing but bad memories, and expensive living in this town. But I had fallen for Micah.
Micah, the charmer. Micah, the smarmy-pants. Micah, the romantic. Micah, the guy who made me laugh. Micah, the beautiful. Micah, the amazing musician. Micah, the restaurant owner. Micah, the hot body. Micah, the guy who just 'got' me. Micah the smart-ass—I mean smart guy. ( I smiled to myself)
Micah, the guy who had pursued me. Something that every woman wants, but rarely gets.
Micah, the gentleman....Micah, the guy in the wheelchair.
I know my mom looked at it as a minus. Whereas I looked at it as a plus. But I also know her concerns were valid. I mean, f*ck, I didn't know what it'd be like marrying—or even living with a guy in a chair long-term...maybe I was romantisizing it?!?
I didn't say anything after that. I mean, what's the point? I probably should have...probably should have defended my relationship more? I don't know?!
I'm not saying my mom was right, I'm just saying she gave me some sh*t to ponder.
We arrived home in somber silence, and got out of the car.
I let her in, and started to turn towards the driveway again.
“Where are you going?” my mom asked surprised.
I turned around slowly...”I'm going to stay at Micah's. Do you have a problem with that?”
“Oh...” she just stood there.
“What mom? Are you going to lecture me again? I'm allowed to stay at my boyfriends. I'm an adult.”
My mother blushed a little, “I wasn't saying anything like that honey! I'm not trying to upset you. I just want what's best for you.” She looked like she was on the verge of crying.
Sighing, I walked over and gave her a hug. “Mommy.” I said softly. “I do understand your concerns, and I was aware of them anyway. I just think I need to find out for myself.” I walked her up the stairs to my house.
“I know babe. I just had to say it. You know that, right?” She was almost repentant, but not...
“Yeah.” I sighed again. “But this is my life. And I...I think I love this guy—or am close to it. And if it does go that way, you need to be behind me, and him. Not pushing us, but cheering us on.” I smiled.
Sighing, she finally looked at me, “Yeah, you know I will baby...I just—“
—“Shh.” I silenced her, with a finger over her mouth. “Don't add anything mom. That's all I wanted from you. I'm going to pack some stuff, and stay at Micah's tonight. You'll be alright.”
She just nodded, and headed for the kitchen—presumably for a glass of wine.
After a huge sigh, I headed to my room to pack.
Coming down, I couldn't find her inside, so I went outside. She was having a ciggarette, and a glass of wine.
“Look, mom. I'm not trying to be a rebellious little teenager or anything—I'm trying to be civil and mature about this. But, you can't expect me to just drop a good thing in my life, because your scared for me.” I sat down on the step, and took the ciggie from her hand.
Taking a quick drag I proceeded again, “I love you, more than anything, but I don't think that love should be manipulated—I'm not saying you are—I'm just saying, don't do it to me. I want you to be behind me, if I should fall. Not in front of me, pulling me this way and that way. You get what I'm saying?”
I felt like I was the adult this time, telling off a sullen teenager.
I mean, my mom wasn't sulking, but she was pretty pensive. Which usually means, upset or angry.
“Yes, Skye. I get it.” She snapped quietly. “Off you go then.
“Okay...fine. Ring me if you need anything...but please don't need anything!” I added quickly.
I got up, and turned to leave.
“ Oh, Skye?”
I turned to face her, “Yes, mom?”
“Just make sure you're practicing safe sex.”
I had to smile at that one. I don't think she really thought about it...
“Yes, mom. I will.” I smirked, then resumed my mission.
I arrived at Micah's place twenty minutes later. Traffic was a breeze.
Standing in front of his door, I hesitated.
I hadn't exactly rung to see if he was home, let alone, by himself...what was I thinking? He wouldn't do that to me?!? Would he?
A dog started barking like crazy just behind the door. Oh sh*t, I forgot about Husky.
I could hear him telling Husky to calm down and get out of the way.
All of a sudden the door opened.
"Skye?!" he said suprised. "What are you doing here?"
Husky came bounding up to me, and jumped on me. I bent down to pat him, laughing as he licked my face.
"Hey." I looked up at him, "I was in the neighbourhood, and thought I'd come have a sleepover with you. Feel like braiding each others hair and talking about boys with me?" I smirked as I tried to hold in the laughter.
Seeing him made everything go into straight lines again. None of this crazy curvy sh*t.
He laughed at me, "Sure. Come in." He rolled backwards, out of the doorway to let me through. "Come here, Husky! Let my woman through."
Husky bounded over to him, and put his paws on his lap.
Micah just sat there smiling at me, and patting Husky, as I came in and put my stuff down.
"Soo...you just couldn't stay away from me, could ya?" He winked. Pushing Husky off, he wheeled over to the couch where I had dumped my body.
I rolled my eyes over to him, and gave him The Look. I wasn't really in the mood for teasing.
He didn't notice.
"I'm just saying, girls get one taste of ol Mikey here, and they come running for more." He laughed at his lame joke by himself.
"Shut it boy." I yawned. "I've had a sh*t day. So be a good boyfriend, and come and just chill with me."
He seemed to get it then, and shut his trap. Instead he just wheeled over, transferred to the couch, and put his arms around me, stroking my hair occasionally, and kissing my cheek.
I just sat there, not exactly crying, but feeling pretty sh*t anyway, I may as well have been crying.
"It's okay baby." He just kept repeating...until the tears did start coming...stupid Micah...
Somewhere in the midst of last nights emotional spazz, we ended up in bed again.
I mean, you couldn't call it make-up sex, because we weren't on the outs?
So maybe we could call it, Parents-are-annoying-sometimes-let's-smite-them-and-get-it-on sex?
Kind of a mouthful don't you reckon? Haha!
I have to admit, I love waking up to a warm masculine body in the morning.
Nothing beats the smell of a guy mixed with cotton sheets. Mmm...
I found myself reaching over, and basically spooning him... Somehow, even though I'm tiny, I fit perfectly into the curve of his back. Seriously, freakn mmm....
“Mmm...” I hugged him a little tighter.
“Uhh...Skye?” He mumbled sleepily.
“Yeah baby?” I had let my hands explore a little. Resting on a nipple.
“You're kind of crushing me?”
“Aha...” I ignored him. A little tweak wouldn't hurt, would it? I giggled a little.
“Ouch! sh*t Skye.”
Whoopsy, my bad...must've been a little too hard. Haha!
Instead I innocently said, “Oh, sorry Mikey! Did that hurt?” I couldn't resist a laugh, which ended with a totally unlady-like snort.
My hand flew up to my face in embarrassment, as I sat up, shocked.
Micah just turned his head to look at me, while cracking up with laughter.
“It's not funny!” I shoved his shoulder.
“Come on, Skye! It totally was. Have a laugh with me!?” He dimple-smirked, and started to rub my back.
I couldn't resist a smile, “Okay, fine. It was funny.”
“Damn straight it was! The way your face crinkled up when you...” And off he went again. Fully laughing in my face.
What a dick!
“Hey, “ He was still laughing as he watched me get up, “Where are you going?”
“Home.” I answered.
“What?!” He pulled himself up to sitting position, and just stared at me, confused, “Why?”
“Because Micah, I've got sh*t to do, and I can't very well do it lying in bed all day with you, can I?” I was kind of pissed off.
I would like to say that it was the fact he laughed at my snort, but I don't think it was?
Women suck when it comes to feelings.
I mean seriously, sometimes WE don't have a clue what makes us so sh*tty, so we grab the first thing that triggers our fancy....I'll repeat, Women suck.
Problem was, I couldn't do anything about it.
When the sh*t hits the fan, I just have to go with it, and try and figure it out later...sigh!
“Hold up, girly!” He held out his hand as if to say 'stop'. He rubbed his forehead with his free hand, before looking at me with that confused expression again, “What just happened? We were having fun, joking and sh*t; now your getting up and going home? I'm fully lost here Skye?!”
“Don't worry. It's not you, it's me.” (Gosh, did I hate those words...)
“Okay, yeah right. Haven't heard that one before.” He said sarcastically, before he leant back against the wall. Watching me pick up my clothes off the floor.
“What?!” I retorted angrily. It was weird, his eyes following me around the room. (Yes, I chuck my clothes everywhere/anywhere when I am in the moment...)
“Nothing.” But his eyes didn't say 'nothing'.
“Spit it out Micah. I haven't got all day!” I sighed. Standing there naked with my hands on my hips.
“Okay. Don't hit me! I was just going to say, that I was admiring your body. You're beautiful.” He smiled genuinely.
I was dumbfounded. “Oh....thanks!?”
“Sheesh Skye! Take a f*cking compliment for once in your life!” He laughed at me, before adding a wink and a, “Your welcome.”
I have to admit, I love being naked.
There's so much freedom in shedding the layers of societies ideals and cultural standards.
I mean, clothes should NEVER define us, WE should define our clothes.
I fully love clothes. I mean, what girl doesn't?! BUT, I love to be free of that ideal. How God intended us to be.
Something about shedding the outer layers really makes you feel more connected with yourself.
Not trying to cover up your flaws, but seeing them as part of who you are. Part of the unique beauty that each of us possess.
I mean, I'm not saying there aren't things I dislike, or discourage, about my body. I fully have like a long list of sh*t. But at the end of the day, if you can look at yourself in your naked form, and really respect and love your body, then I think that is what happiness looks like.
The way that Micah was looking at me made me feel sexy and desirable. It was hot.
I put down my sh*t, and decided to do a little impromptu dance--I'm not talking like, “I'm a stripper” dance, more a “hey Big Boy! You like this?!' Hahhahahaaa!
I don't pride myself on being super sexy or even lady-like. I think of myself as more tom-boy-comedic attractive. And Micah was eating that sh*t up!
He was doubled over, almost lying on the bed, laughing at me.
I decided to pick up my clothes, and use them in my dance. Singing a cheesy Britney Spears song to punctuate the hilarity of the situation. I flung my panties at him...
Which he caught with one hand. Laughing he winked at me, and crooked his finger, “Come here, you saucy minx!”
I gave him a 'no-no' with my finger. As I began to twirl my bra in the air above me, then firing at him once I had made a full 360...
He caught that too, still laughing at me. “If you want these clothes back ever, you have to come over here, right now!?!” He chuckled, and pointed to the bed.
I dived onto the bed, as he tried to shove my clothes in the gap between the headboard and the wall.
“Nooo!!! Give 'em here!!” I wrestled with him, until I fell down with exhaustion, defeated; with my head on his lap.
We sat there in comfortable silence for a few seconds.
Micah just looked at me laying in his lap...until he began to trace the outline of my cheekbone, down to my jawline. It wasn't so much as absentminded, as it was like he was tracing a pattern. There was a sort of concentration to it?
I just stared up at his face. A little half-smile playing about my lips.
I loved how those dark lashes framed those deep blue eyes. Those lips with his own half-smirk playing on his face...
Every part of his face was beginning to be so familiar to me.
Boy, he was beautiful up close....
“You give up?” he smiled.
“Yes.” I pouted.
“Well, be a good girl and stay a little longer, and you can have your clothes back.” He dimple-smirked at me.
“Fine.” I propped myself up enough to kiss those pouty-soft lips of his. Like warm moist pillows of yummy goodness...delicious boy...delicious.
I stayed until I knew I was going to be late for work. He offered to drive me, which I 'graciously' accepted...okay, okay! Actually I said, “Hell yeah boy! You should be flippen taking me, since it's your fault I'm late!!” (Don't worry there was a smirk in there. Haha!)
I kissed him goodbye, as fast as I could, waving, with a “I'll txt you”; before I slammed the door and raced into the building.
Work hadn't been impressed with me lately.
I had been forgetting sh*t, turning up late and taking forever to get even one letter out. But Geez! Give me a flippen break! I've had a lot on my mind lately!? I grumbled to myself, after I had a stern talking to from my current boss.
“I'm soo f*cken over this job.” I grumbled all the way to my desk, holding the warning letter I had been given. f*cken idiots...
My good mood had come crashing down, and I hoped to God it was going to get better later because....... I had to talk to my mother later tonight. Crappadoodle.
To be continued....